A blog about my journey as a 27 year old nurse with Stage 2 Primary Mediastinal Large B-Cell Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma.

Please visit my other blog too: http://baldprideproject.tumblr.com

11th April 2014

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When the receptionist at the cancer center recognizes you and says, “you look so good,” after not seeing you for awhile! I love the SCCA! 💗

Tagged: cancerchemoradiationsurvivorlymphomanonhodgkins


10th April 2014

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Well I have my 6 month lab draw on Friday along with my routine meeting with the doc. It’s amazing how many times I’ve forgotten about this little appointment and then was reminded when I looked at my calender! The worst part is that I have to get up at the ass crack of dawn (about 7:45 in my world) for it.

I also would like to talk about this study they want me to join to see if a low dose of tamoxifen will reduce my risk of breast cancer in the future from the chest radiation I had. I dont think it’s appropriate for me because my complex migraines put me at a higher risk for stroke, and if you are at increased risk you shouldn’t be on tamoxifen. There’s also the thing my husband found that said not to eat soy while taking tamoxifen, which isn’t going to happen. I also didn’t think my risk for breast cancer was all that high, so the side effects may not be worth it. I also just don’t really want to put more crap in my body.

But we’ll see, I have some more research to do to see if the benefits outweigh the cons. I would also hate to be doing so well and then start this medication and have some horrible side effect.

Tagged: cancerchemoradiationlymphomanonhodgkinsbreast cancersurvivorremissionresearch


18th March 2014

Question with 2 notes

karaisafourletterword said: I was diagnosed with the same type of lymphoma in November that you had and I'm coming up on my last 2 treatments. The end of chemo is definitely hard, but I'm worried that once I'm done I will just be living my life scared of a reoccurrence. Does that feeling ever go away? How did you deal with these feelings, if you had them? Do you ever go a day and not think about it?

Congratulations on almost being done with treatment! The last few rounds of chemo are the hardest!

I remember feeling the same way when I neared the end of chemo. When you have cancer and you’re undergoing treatment that you know you’re going to survive, you’re not really worried about anything. I was the happiest and most carefree up to that point, that I had ever been in my life when I was in the process of kicking cancer’s ass, surprisingly. I think it’s because I felt the worst that I could imagine, had happened, but it was under control. Then when you get closer to treatment being over you start to worry about relapse because there’s no longer anything fighting the cancer you had.

It’s amazing most days I don’t think about having cancer at all. Sometimes it’s hard for me to believe I even had it. When I do think about it, it’s usually in the sense of being proud to be a survivor and accomplishing what I am now. There are moments where the reality that I had cancer, and am lucky to be alive, and that my life can be taken from me at any moment hit me like a ton of bricks. This actually just happened to me the other day. It usually happens when I’m on a long peaceful, beautiful bike ride. It hits me to the point that I almost become tearful about it.

Overall, I would say the fear of relapse gets better with time. I was never one to get scared when it was time for a scan, as long as I was feeling fine. There was one scan when I thought I was having symptoms and so that made me a little nervous. There are some people that get severe anxiety every time they have to get a scan, so I don’t know if you are one of those people.

But mainly, I just have a new view of life and really try to live every moment exactly how I want to be living it. In the end, you really can only live life the best way you know how to. If you’re going to get cancer again in the future or not is really out of your control. So try not to think too much about it. All worrying about it is going to do is decrease the happiness in your life for right now, and that’s no way to live. 

Tagged: cancerchemolymphomaNon-Hodgkins Lymphomasurvivorremission


21st November 2013


Nurse becomes the patient turned 2 today!

Nurse becomes the patient turned 2 today!

Tagged: tumblr birthdaytumblr milestone


Source: assets

2nd November 2013

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Had my follow up scan today and labs and everything look good! The scar tissue continues to shrink. I continue to be in remission almost 2 years after my original diagnosis. I’m so thankful for my health and my life.

Tagged: cancerchemolymphomanonhodgkinsradiationremission


9th October 2013

Video reblogged from Ryan Scout_FTM with 26 notes


Blushing aside, it is really important for anyone with testicles (that aren’t of silicone form….like me) to conduct monthly testicular exams. According to the American Cancer Society, “almost half of all cases of testicular cancer are in men between the ages of 20 and 34.”

I’m tired of seeing women topless with perfect breasts or implants who have never had breast cancer, saying “I’m doing this for breast cancer.” Please, you’re taking the opportunity to show the world your tits. If you really want to do something for the cause… create more videos like this that actually could benefit humanity by showing how to detect cancer in an early stage.

Tagged: cancerbreast cancertesticular cancer


12th August 2013

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Just got an e-mail that my next set of labs, my CT scan, and follow up with my oncologist are November 1st!

Tagged: cancerchemosurvivorlymphomaNon-Hodgkins Lymphoma


6th August 2013

Quote reblogged from Every story has two sides with 3 notes

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER - by Erma Bombeck(written after she found out she was dying from cancer).

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren’t there for the day.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the ‘good’ living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn’t show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, “Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.” There would have been more “I love you’s.” More “I’m sorry’s.”

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute…look at it and really see it .. live it .and never give it back. Stop sweating the small stuff.

Don’t worry about who doesn’t like you, who has more, or who’s doing what.

Instead, let’s cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.

Let’s think about what God HAS blessed us with. And what we are doing each day to promote ourselves mentally, physically, emotionally. I hope you all have a blessed day.

Erma Bombeck (via crazy-bumblebee)

I agree with everything except the god crap. Make the most of everyday!


28th June 2013

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I’ve seen a lot of posts lately about “foods that cure cancer” and we “just need to go back to basics and we wouldn’t need modern day medicine for cancer.”

While the sentiment is nice, it’s unfortunately not true. My whole life I tried to do everything “right” convinced that if I did I wouldn’t be affected by horrible illnesses that “other” people got. I love working out. I don’t smoke. I don’t drink. I don’t do drugs. I drive an electric car. I’ve been vegan for 12 years and vegetarian for 14. I eat organic. I’ve eliminated most plastic in my life. I don’t use chemicals in my house. I’ve always tried to make a positive impact on the environment, etc.

But I still ended up with cancer at the age of 27. What I’ve learned from this experience is that you can do everything “right,” and still end up with a horrible illness. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do what you think is right. I still follow all of my previous values because beyond my health and the health of the planet I feel it’s the right path for many other reasons. But I understand now that some things are beyond my control. So I don’t stress myself out over not being perfect anymore, and I don’t pretend that there are easy answers when it comes to preventing and curing cancer.  

Tagged: cancerchemolymphomaNon-Hodgkins Lymphomasurvivordietlifestylepreventioncure


18th June 2013

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I think it’s funny how desperate people are to make pot look good that they make up lies that it cures cancer.

But mainly, I just find it annoying.

Tagged: CancerPotmarijuanabullshitmedicine